Falling

falling never felt so much like flying when
leaves are dropping and closer comes dying
the world spins on
the rest will move on
but in stillness, I sit, I find myself trying
to make it all fit – a puzzle worth trying
how does one fit with the other –
life, love, my mother?
the pieces connect
no one way, correct
I’m flying
I’m flying
I’m flying
outside of the window, winter comes prying
inside, I’m inward, all smiles and crying
and something real –
not what I think, but feel –
a compass left rusting and lying.
But rust dusts off and louder than before
through hurts, heartaches, and dying
my heart beats strong
once again, I am strong,
I’ll follow it on
my heart has never been good at lying.
The hardest part is the puzzle undone –
pieces are missing and lying
face down
they stay down
until one day they’re revealed,
the whole picture then revealed,
and what then – my life is sealed?
I’d rather live now, not trying
to see the whole picture, but flying
falling fast, my heart crying
Yes this! and when I’m dying
the pieces and I will lay lying
it will fit – the falling and flying –
but until then,
I’ll live like I’m dying
I’m dying
I’m dying